BLAH is say...

I've lost touch of reality and myself...as well as others but i don't know what's wrong with me...that ugly and unbearable missing piece feeling is once again here...and I've managed to get kicked out of a band i was in and lose some friends in the process if they ever were my friends...and the thing that tops everything is that I'm going to London...i was excited for a bit until the one person in the world that i want to go there for hasn't said anything about it since i emailed her about it...i am truly hurt...i mean, things aren't as the were before i fucked up the situation...(duh!)...but i love her...and dont know what I am to her, nor do i know if she loves me back or if she's just been in a weird mood because she's sick...i don't know...
Everything seems lost inside...I feel different...saddened, but different..i better go study for exams some more to get my mind off of things...i don't know what to do....

aahhh...the attack of the Study monster!!

I've been studying for 4 hours (with some dinner in bewteen) and my eyes are about ready to fall out of their sockets....please...don't let them do that....2 more history chapters to type and numberous essays to outline...i think about 13...i'm not happy about that...i shall do that tomorrow...or at least attempt to...8 of them are for wednesday, so i'll do some of those monday night and tuesday night...i'm giving up on typing up ALL of my history notes...i'll just do the study guide (fillin the blanks kinda thing)...i think i'll finish the night with the 2 chapters of notes...and then on to essays for history tomorrow and english outlines as well...Math sometime tomorrow as well, and french last because it's on thrusday...and somehow, i have to get my biology things from my teacher's room monday because i need to study for it and forgot my things...NOT GOOD...oh well...i'll live...i want to do well so i can go to London...

me go now...tired, and need to finish this...i'll be watching tv later...nothing to go online...