love is hell...complete hell...

[hearteststill]

Why does love have to be so shitty at times...why can't it just keep its blissful side and quit the heart ache and sorrow and suicide...
Why do I do things so unreal with thinking about them before hand... i'm such an ass... someone should just end my life...put me out of my misery...god knows i won't be doing it anytime...too much of a coward... I mean, I do some pretty fucked up things...and yet i keep doing fucked up things... i should be locked away forever so as to no one can ever be hurt by me nor can i get my heart broken... I wish i could turn back the clock just a few hours...knowing what i know now, preventing myself of making a huge mistake... why do i do things like this? *bangs head on desk leaving red marks*

i hate my life...hate love...err, hate what it does for payback, revenge...whatever you want to call it...payment for its blissful side... I finally realize something about someone and its too late to change what ive done... damn me to hell... never should have made that damned decision.... should have thought about things before i said it...hate myself.... wrong decision made...can't do a thing about it...fuck... i hate life..
going to find knives now...goodbye.