Feb. 14th, 2001

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alright... so Valentine's Day is a pretty crappy excuse for a holiday... I wouldn't have said this if someone was actually here to enjoy it with, but since there's no one but a head full of confusing things, I shall rant about why v-day is awful...
Did you know it's right up there along with Christmas as the top day with the most suicides? yes indeed...more people commit suicide on v-day and christmas than any other day of the year....why you ask? well...not everyone has someone to share this holiday surrounded by love... some have tragedies surrounding this holiday as well... but me, I'm just plain miserable... no one to spend it with besides my parents (who i might add has their anniversary today...yes they got married on Valentine's day)... and I think and think of way too many things that I shouldn't dwell too much on, yet i do...
I've just got this one thing on my mind that I can't stop thinking about... something i want to tell someone but can't be brought to say it for the consequences of what is to be said...i just hate it... but i'll probably keep it inside me for a while hoping it will disappear... nothing i can do... and i wanted to talk to someone so badly today of all days and they aren't online...oh well...not their fault, probably seeing hannibal i bet...
i just want this day to be over...this aching inside me to be over...thats all...too much to ask probably...so i'll fake a few smiles in front of the parental units and be a good little daughter to them while we 'celebrate' over dinner somewhere...and i'll survive another day tomorrow of hell most likely...drawing more lyrics on my right arm because i've got nothing else to do in biology or french...depressing lyrics as well..er, not necessarily depressing, just not happy...
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OKay...browsing through Livejournal cause I'm bored, and come across lovely people I thought were "friends" talking about me behind my back... one of the best names I've been calle das well...(dumbshit)...oh how I love being talked about behind my back (sarcasm)... ok... that officially made my day the worst this year...I hate the world... yup... strong statement... oh fucking well...
well...i'm not quite cooled down yet, so...i think i'll bash some things around...break a few bottles...make a few cuts... damn people to hell...all you backstabbing bitches who feel the need to be two sided... rot in hell for all i care... just keep the fuck away from me...

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