Jan. 15th, 2001

blah....

Jan. 15th, 2001 03:32 pm
hearteststill: (Default)
Life is weird sometimes...and not just life itself, but everything around it as well...one minute, you could be happy as can be, and the next depressed and ready to make a noose out of your shoe laces...it's odd like that...that ups and down can be so drastic it seems not right...
i noticed something today...and maybe it's been trying to make itself noticed for a while, but i'm drifting from people i love...and i don't know whether it's me who is drifting, or if its the other person...but it's happening...i guess i should say to myself that it's all for the best...but i've loved this person too long to just dismiss it that quickly...i guess it was expected though...after what i did nothing's been the same...we don't talk as often, don't have little email conversations...communication has almost stopped completely...it feels like pulling teeth trying to initiate conversation...i must be really picky or something...oh well...i keep going on...trying not to lose the one person i love whole-heartedly...there's nothing else i can really do besides that...i'll be near them in a few months, but until then i have to keep trying...anything to keep myself from losing my mind (not that i haven't already)...
anyways...i'm tired from studying...i went to a review session today for math, which was ok...nothing truly exciting about it...i need to get my science things still...i'll have to cram tomorrow afternoon after the first 2 exams...i've got guitar tomorrow as well...hurray for that...i've been trying to write some stuff but it's not going to well...i can't think of lyrics...oh well...the guys with suits in my head were head banging to the music i was playing (i was playing godsmack) so that made me happy...so whenever they do that head shaking thing they do (that give me a headache) i play godsmack for them, and then they lighten up a bit...i have managed to control the little men in my head...hurray for insanity...

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